I got an offer from NUS, i thought i could be happy as this is an offer of a lifetime but it turns out the happy situation are always cut short when reality hits.
After i studied everything which includes NUS website and the guide they sent me, i found a very big problem which is....
$$ MONEY $$.

Turns out studying in NUS will suck my parents savings clean. To make matters worse, i found out that i am late by a whole month to apply for any financial aid from NUS.
A whole month!

And to change things from worse to even worst, if i cannot get any sort of financial aid, i could say bye bye to going to NUS.
Though it may be an offer of a lifetime, i have no choice but to let it go if i really could not get a loan.

I really envy those people that are born into wealthy families which have a lot of cash for them and they can basically go anywhere due to the huge amount of cash they have at their disposal even though they may have shitty results.
They do not have to work hard and yet even get to enjoy everything which some of us have to work so hard to get it.

And the talk about MONEY is not everything is just hogwash.

I've sent an email to NUS requesting for help, but i cannot know the answer til Monday.
Guess all that i am left to do is pray, and very hard too.

I'm pretty moody right now. The fact that i do not even know why am i moody makes matter worse. I should be happy, considering something that can be considered good happened today but i can't.

You see, i suck at relationships. I could never treasure people that really do care about me but instead most of the time i want something that can never be mine in the first place while ignoring what good things i already have.
"The grass is always greener on the other side", like the saying goes.

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I told her the truth today about why we broke up after so long and sad to say, it was not something that would make her entirely happy. She even said that i am mean. Well, i'm not just mean, but i'm also a coward too.

Just because i have no guts to face or to admit my own feelings, but instead choose to ignore it, i have hurt someone that should not have been hurt in the first place. Yeah, i know that i'm no gentleman and i would not make excuses to cover up it either.

I just want to apologize for all the hurt that i caused just because i am a coward. I'm sorry.

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And even after admitting my own mistake, things did not turn out better because the truth is not pretty either. Sometime life can just be so dang complicated.

I wished i could write more but because this is not my personal journal and because i do not have a personal journal, i am pouring out here albeit a little bit too short on the details as i will explode if i cannot get to divert it somewhere.
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On the plus side, i received an offer from NUS (National University of Singapore) today for the course of Arts and Social Science. It's not a scholarship, just an offer, but i'm more than happy to receive it as i did not expect to be given a place.

I'm still blur, however, about all these university thingy and if you guys have any advice, i would love to hear about it. Especially if you are in NUS now. I could really use some help.
I'm pretty sure that i'm going already, as maybe heading into a new place might give the fresh start that i seriously need.

I'm bored.
Dead bored because my mother barred me from going out, well for tonight at least, as i have become a nocturnal creature of some sort according to what she days. Being nocturnal is not that bad on my opinion, considering Edward Cullen who has a killer look and huge base of female fans is also a nocturnal. Heck, to make matters worse, he is not even real.


Well, which brings me back to this blog. I checked out some of my friends blogs today and most of them are either dead, relinked or gone missing in action. Why do we blog actually?

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Some might blog for cash.

You know, the people who load their profiles with countless amounts of Google Adsense into their profile praying that at least 10 people will click on the ADs per day so that they could retire happily and have no need to work anymore.
I do too, because i'm motivated by the occasional stories where a normal Joe suddenly becomes rich and famous because visitors to his blog skyrocketed in all of a sudden because he managed to expose the secrets of how to be famous using blogs.
But lets face the truth, how many people actually can achieve it?
Considering the sheer number of blogs on the internet today, i say the chances are pretty slim.

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And there are those who blog for acceptance.
Those who blog so people could understand what's on their mind and how do they really tick. Those who just want people to see and accept them for who they are.

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And of course they are also the fanatical bloggers.
Those who use blog to spread propaganda, slander and lies for certain parties to achieve their goals which is never good in the first place.
These kind of bloggers are the most dangerous of all the type because the incite hatred and can cause tensions among their readers. And they do not have to worry about being caught as they can remain anonymous in cyberspace.
Well, i do hope i won't become one of them and certainly would not be affiliated with them.

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And lastly, those who blog because of boredom.
They have nothing better to do because all their friends are offline and they could not go out because their mum had just grounded them.
Yeah, which basically means myself.
ZZzzZZ~~


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"Do Not Judge A Book By It's Cover"

How often have we heard that? I'm sure most of us will hear this same phrase again and again for maybe a few million times in the entire course of our life. But who will actually put it into practice, who will actually look into a person which appearances may not fall into the attractive category and accept or appreciate them for who they are?


Look at this woman. You may know her given all the publicity that she has received over this few days but for all of you who don't, what is her first impression towards you?

What if I were to tell you that this woman, who's name is Susan Boyle by the way, were to participate in a talent show and sing? She's 47, unemployed and never been married. Would you think that she has talent or would you dismiss her as another person who is dreaming the impossible, who will sound like a frog and embarrass herself once she open her mouth?

Well, i think you should watch this video first before you start writing her off.


Impressing isn't it?

I hope you would be inspired by the video too and like me, see yourself in her. Here is someone who is looked down and laughed by society, unappreciated but yet has such a wonderful voice and a will so strong to pursue her dreams no matter what happens.

And maybe that is why she has now millions of fans all around the world since her video debuted on Youtube.

Through her, we can see ourselves. How we are often splashed with cold water when we have a fiery passion to chase after our ambitions and our dreams just like how the audience laughed and sneered when she first walked unto the stage.

She has really taught me a BIG lesson by the way. I learned that each and everyone of us living in this world are special in our very own way.
Look at Susan, if she can succeed, why not us? She must have gone through a lot of negative things in her life but yet she did not give up and even kept on soldiering on to finally achieve what she has always wanted.

Failure is not the opposite of success, giving up is.

I hope the video cheered you up and made your day brighter because it definitely did for me. And starting from today, i think i must learn to stop judging people by how they look because who are we anyway to judge?

And if that video is not enough, i would recommend you watching 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop' as a follow up. The movie is also about not giving up when other people view you in a negative light.

Moral of the story, CHEER UP and Be Yourself! God made you this way and surely He has a reason for designing you like this. Most importantly you have to start appreciating yourself before others can appreciate you.

And by the way, the first one to appreciate you is me because you took the time to drop by my blog! Thanks!


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Woohoo, i got a blogger award from Kam Wah! It has been a while since i .. *sobs*.. received any award.. *sniffs*.. in fact... *sobs*.. i never received any awards in my life! *Sniffs*.. so i would like to thank my.. *snorts*.. parents, friends, Kam Wah and most importantly.. *sobs*.. MYSELF for winning this prestigious award.

Ok, all the sarcasms, aside, i did not think i would get this award as i have not updated my blog for quite a long time. If you look closely, you could see cobwebs hanging at the background and mould growing on the posts. Maybe the award that i won is under the category of the
Most Antique Blog award.

So, what am i up to now?

Well, basically i'm still working as a Telemarketer and also as a salesman for Aircom.
I sell Discounted Call Rates for fixed lines to companies, P1 WiMAX internet services and lately also insurance premiums.


At the current rate now, looks like i'm all set to become a professional salesperson.

That's roughly about my working life now, and i could say that being a salesperson is not entirely bad. People may loathe you but not all are. Most would be polite and you'll be amazed by how many people you can meet by being a salesperson and meeting new people can have its benefits too as you have more oppurtunity at life with more relationships you forge.

Guess thats about all for now, have to go back my job and continue my search for my next customer.